(no subject)

Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.

The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."

The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."

The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says 'Your Eminence'."

The fourth Catholic man then says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."

Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"

She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, Slim, Tall, 38D breast, 24" waist and 34" hips. When she walks into a room, people say, "Oh My God."

The Gashlycrumb Terrors

A is for anthrax, deadly and white.
B is for burglars who break in at night.
C is for cars that have minds of their own
and accelerate rapidly in a school zone.
D is for dynamite lit with a fuse.
E is for everything we have to lose.
F is for foreigners, different and strange.
G is for gangs and the crimes they arrange.
H is for hand lotion, more than three ounces;
let's pray some brave agent soon sees it and pounces.
I is for implants (I'll explain when you're older).
J is for jokers who only grow bolder.
K is for kids who aren't afraid
to play in the park or drink lemonade.
L is for lead in our toys and our food.
M is for Mom's cavalier attitude.
N is for neighbors -- you never can tell:
is that a book club or terrorist cell?
O is for ostrich, with head in the sand.
P is for plots to blow up Disneyland.
Q is for those who would question authorities.
R is for radical sects and minorities.
S is for satanists, who have been seen
to give children razor blades on Halloween.
T is for terrorists, by definition.
U is for uncensored acts of sedition.
V is for vigilance, our leaders' tool
for keeping us safe, both at home and at school.
W is for warnings with colors and levels.
X is for xraying bags at all revels.
Y is for you! So don't be a dope.
Z is for zero tolerance, our finest hope.

By Laura (http://www.schneier.com/blog/archives/2010/04/fifth_annual_mo.html#c426477)

(no subject)

Your result for The Commonly Confused Words Test...

English Genius

You scored 100% Beginner, 100% Intermediate, 100% Advanced, and 93% Expert!

You did so extremely well, even I can't find a word to describe your excellence! You have the uncommon intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don't. You have an extensive vocabulary, and you're not afraid to use it properly! Way to go!

Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it!

For the complete Answer Key, visit my blog: http://shortredhead78.blogspot.com/.

Take The Commonly Confused Words Test at OkCupid

Взрывы в московском метро

Не буду обсуждать кто прав, кто виноват, суть мысли не в этом. А вот в чем:

Если люди готовы пожертвовать своей жизнью за идею, то сколько ты их не лови и не убивай (как сейчас хотят делать россияне), ты только будешь давать этим людям причины продолжать атаковать тебя. Чем больше мстить им, тем больше будут мстить они.

И невозможно отследить и предотвратить все терракты. Хоть ты охраняй каждую станцию метро, хоть каждый аэропорт. Найдутся торговые центры забитые людьми, автобусные остановки в час пик, музеи, кинотеатры, и т.д. и т.п.

Эту проблему нужно решать иначе. И сдается мне, что от хорошей жизни люди не ищут, кому бы отомстить. Этим людям нужно не мстить, а дать им другое направление в жизни.

(no subject)

got this via skype today:
European and American women are too arrogant for you? Are you looking for a sweet lady that will be caring and understanding? Then you came to the right place- here you can find a Russian lady that will love you with all her heart. Can't find a queen to rule your heart? How about beautiful Russian ladies that have royal blood and royal look? Here you can find hundreds of portfolios of these fine women of any age for every taste. Please excuse us if you are not interested.

Beautiful Russian ladies - http://dreams-lady.com/

I guess Russian ladies from the European part of Russia aren't being offered here.. :)

The rotting of American democracy © Massimo Pigliucci

Let me get straight to the point: here is some of what is seriously wrong with American democracy and how to fix it. Of course, the point is entirely rhetorical, since I have no expectations at all that the corrupt political body in Washington or the nearly illiterate (in terms of democratic values) American public will actually act on it. Nonetheless:

1. Corporations (and Unions) are not people, they do not have rights, and money does not equate with speech. Contrary to what the current Republican majority on the Supreme Court has recently, not at all surprisingly and highly disingenuously, decided.

Fix: Congress should pass a constitutional amendment that declares that rights are applicable only to individual persons, not legal entities.

Read the rest at Massimo's blog

(no subject)

Why do people split it? I mean, I think all relationships go through rough times, we have our own share; but how do you decide, that this person, with whom you've now spent many years of your life, is not the right person for you? What pushes a person to give up all of the effort, the time, the emotion they've put into a relationship, break it all off, and go search for something new, something that can hopefully be better?

(no subject)

search-and-rescue teams have emerged from the ruins with some improbable success stories — including the rescue of 69-year-old ardent Roman Catholic who said she prayed constantly during her week under the rubble.
On Tuesday, she was rescued by a Mexican disaster team.
"I talked only to my boss, God," she said. "I didn't need any more humans."

I guess these pesky humans shouldn't have bothered rescuing her; god would have done it for them when the time was right.