Valera (valera) wrote,

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History of friendship...

A few years ago I met a guy with whom I became best friends almost instantly. I guess it seemed like we understood each other perfectly. It seems silly, but a bunch of times we even confessed to one another how incredibly glad we were that we met one another.

At one point he introduced me to a girl online, said that he'd met her once and thought she was cute/pretty. I started chatting with her online, and a while after (half a year?) we decided to meet. We met up, and my first impression of her wasn't that fantastic. She was cute, but not so pretty that I would look twice if she passed me on the street.

New Year's celebration was nearing, and my friend told me that he had invited this girl to come to the huge party that was being thrown on the new years weekend in CT. I spoke to her about it and we decided that I was going to drive her there (along with my friend who doesn't have a car). When my friend found out about this he became very upset. Apparently our mutual, quite large group of friends was told that my friend would be bringing a girl with him, and it would cause a lot of curiosity and confusion if I was the one to come with her. Well, alright.. seemed like a silly issue.

So we went to the party as planned, and our friends did make some jokes about being confused as to who the girl was with. By the middle of the night it became apparent to people that the girl was "with me". And after the party we were.. going out.

Also, after the party my friend spoke to me, telling me that he was very upset with me, because he liked the girl, and I didn't ask him anything and just went and started going out with her. I said I was sorry, but that I didn't think he liked her much because he never said anything about it, and has in fact only met her once before - in a very long time. I also said that I didn't see anything he could be upset with me about, because we both liked her, and it just happened that her and I clicked better. He agreed that it didn't make sense to be upset with me, but that he still was.

Time went by.. I spent half a year going out with the girl. Turned out to be my longest and at the same time least emotional/least intense relationship. I broke it off (kinda. in reality we never "broke up" and a lot more happened, but it's irrelevant to this story). More time went by, my friend and I seemed to be OK again (even while I was going out with the girl). But very slowly we were drifting apart. I didn't find him as fun anymore, I stopped thinking that he understood me very well. He stopped appreciating some of my jokes. We stopped speaking as often.

Once there was an email circulating online about chipping in for a present for one of our good friends. A lot of people were included in the email. One of these people happened to be a bitter ex of the girl whom the present was for. He replied to the email, saying that he'd chip in for the present, except that the girl didn't invite him to the party, so he wasn't going to chip in, etc. My friend replied, inviting this guy to come. Some other people replied, saying something to the girl's ex. So I replied as well, asking people to stop hitting "reply to all" and settle their matters personally, because this email was meant for something else. My friend replied to all, telling me to go fuck myself. A few emails went between us where I told him to watch what he says to me, he told me not to tell him what to do, etc.

After this I stopped talking to him for a bit, until he called me and asked me "Are you really upset with me?" I said that I was, he apologized, I said OK, and that was that. After the conversation we slowly resumed our friendship.

A week ago I had a birthday party. Just before it I used my friend's account at our friends' site to check what present they were getting me. My friend found out about this. At the party everything was going great. My friend showed up with some shoe box. At one point it seemed like he was going to announce something. I was a little drunk, standing between him and another girl, my arms around them. The girl was smoking, and when I hugged them a little too much, they ended up lightly butting their heads, and the cigarette burned my friends face a little. As far as I'm aware, I'm really not understating anything. I've had cigarettes brush agains my skin a million times, and I'm sure my friend didn't feel any intense pain; definitely nothing worse than getting pinched or something. Anyway - he blew up, said something to the effecto of "FUCK!!!!!!!", threw the shoe box on the floor and stormed out of the place.

I ran after him with another guy. I wanted to give him some space, so i didn't actually catch up with him. The other guy did catch up with him, then went back, and told me not to follow my friend and let him be. So we stayed outside and talked a bit. He told me that my friend said that he was fed up with me, that he was upset that I stole that girl from him, and with other stuff.

Tonight a very good friend of ours called me. She came from seattle to visit us, and we're going to hang out tomorrow. She also said to me that she spoke to my friend about hanging out with us, and that he said that he didn't want to hang out if I was going to be there.

And now.. I don't know what to do about it. On one hand I somewhat feel like I should apologize to him; but I also don't know what to apologize for - I don't feel like I've done anything wrong (I did apologize right away for the cigarette going into his face, but I'm sure that's not the issue).

Maybe it's time to move on...
Tags: self, состояние, этапы жизни
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